


Thoughts about kissing

by yourestuckinmyhead



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, Fuck you to the universe, Futures, Kissing, Loopholes, fates, slightly AU, something I hope happens, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 11:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1467790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourestuckinmyhead/pseuds/yourestuckinmyhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blue stares at Gansey and thinks about how much the universe could be lying</p><p>or </p><p>the great terrible thing in wanting is that it is very hard to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thoughts about kissing

Blue has had enough.

She had gone over to Monmouth under the guise of helping Gansey with research for Glendower, but all Blue really intended on doing was talking to Gansey about _them_. A talk about them being a kind of _'_ them' that needed to be italicized. But that turned into just staring at Gansey, and thinking about maybe even snuggling up to him on his bed while reading or thinking or touching fingers and hands and legs.

All she had done so far since arriving was drink a glass of offered water, and gaze down at the books she was supposed to be reading. All she _wanted_ to do was go over to Gansey and kiss him, but, the great terrible thing in wanting is that it is very hard to stop.

And Blue so desperately wanted to stop, stop, stop not kissing him and loving him and spending hours just gazing out into the stars connecting them constellations that looked like their hands clasped together and the entire impossibility of it was making her breathless.

Instead, she opened one of the books and flipped through the pages, the think tomb spewing dust as if coughing up its lungs. All from the confines of the desk chair. Five feet from where she wanted to be.  She glanced at Gansey, to where he sat on the bed. He had his wire-rimmed glasses on and looked so incredibly causal that Blue nearly sighed. Her favorite Gansey. Just five feet away.

"You might not die if I kiss you." Blue wasn't sure how the words had slipped from the inside of her head to her mouth, but they were ready to break what fragile rules she and Gansey had silently concocted about the subject. _That's one way to start a conversation,_ she thought.

Gansey's face flashed from hopeful to confused to so many others lost in the hurricane, before he changed into the 'other' Gansey and they all got drowned at sea. "Jane," he drew in a steep breath, "Why are you entertaining these ideas, because while it would be a pleasure to die on your lips, I couldn't let you live with that burden." He was using his righteous tone again. Head up, shoulders back. Proud, but with the unintentional condescension.

"Gansey, just because I said it and think about it and wish for things to be different, doesn't mean I would risk you life in the slight chance I might be wrong. But we should at least talk about and I mean, fuck, don't be so nonchalant about dying! " Blue folded her arms across her chest and huffed rather loudly.

Slowly Gansy flickered back into existence. "No! I would never suggest you would be risk me dying. AND I do want to talk about it, but just....Just, Blue, I want the same things, and I've surely thought about kissing you, but" He collapsed back on his bed, "Blue, I think I would spend my life not kissing you if it meant that I was the one you loved the most. That I was the one that was true and real and so potent that the touch of you lips was so overwhelming I would die." To himself he added, "I could live my whole life wondering just for that chance."

Gansey eyes had slowly fallen closed. As if the eternity behind his eyelids could hide him from the aftermath of his words.

Blue had begun to pace across the room, as if to outrun his words.

"As poetic as that was," She said, waving her hands about frantically, "I would rather love you, bewith _you,_ than some other 'true love', and Gansey? I'm only seventeen. You are only seventeen. We have our whole lives to worry about true loves and happy marriages and all that bullshit but-" And then Blue thinks of the graveyard and Gansy's ghost. And maybe they have no time at all. "I think that some loves are great, some loves are first, some are last, some span centuries, and others like you and me-they are supposedly meant to be. But if I was meant to kiss you. If I was meant to _kill_ you. Then we have something to discuss."

While his eyes remained closed, "Jane, I haven't died yet."

"But you will Gansey. And so will I, and so will everyone else."

Gansey shrugged his shoulders. "You know, it was always 'when you kiss you true love, he will die' or 'your true love will die if you kiss him' or 'you love will perish on your lips' -now that one was interesting- but, as you say." He opened one eye, "everyone dies, so whether you kiss me or not I'll die, its inevitable. And if I weren't going to die eventually, then you should kiss me because no one should live forever." With that he sits up. And leans forward.

"You know what, dear Jane? I've aways had a death wish."

And with that, Richard Campbell Gansey III strode up Blue, and held her face sweetly, and whispered as she paled, "Nothing that happens will ever be your fault."

Then he kissed her.

She jerked away in fright of his sudden demise. With shaky breathed she croaked out, "You're alive? You-DICK what the hell were you thinking!"

"I'm fine?" His thumb ran over her cheek. This was enough to take quite the bite out of Blue's shock, but her anger surged with a vengeance.

"YOU COULD HAVE DIED!" Blue started swatting his chest, chancing him back until his knees hit the bed, and he nodded his head.

"It was a small chance, yes."

"Small? Are you kidding me, Gansey..." Blue trailed off when he saw how close he was to her face. "Don't, you just tempted the fates once." Voice just above a whisper, eyes darted from lips to eyes to cheeks and fingers followed them. And Blue kissed his palm, and his fingers traced up her arms.

"What's one more time?" He traced the slope of her nose. Leaned in. She felt his breath fan against her mouth. "I have a feeling the universe has more important business to attend too."

Gansey moved closer. Lips slotted together. Teeth clinking softly. And reasons and thoughts and repercussions are for people not in love.

"Even if you aren't my forever, it doesn't mean I don't feel the same."

"I know, Jane. I know."

And then they kissed,

Because they could.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first one-shot! Let me know what you guys thinks and leave kudos if you liked it!


End file.
